The transcript below is from the video “Top 10 WORST Martial Arts” by Metatron.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

What are the worst martial arts you can practice that will not work on the streets? Here is my list! Let me know what you think and I’m always open for discussion 😀 Always respect to all of you real practitioners out there! I hope you enjoy my video and thank you for watching.

Hey Nobble Ones. Welcome back to my channel. In the last few years, I’ve been speaking about the top 10 most effective martial arts. Today we are going to talk about the exact opposite. The styles, martial arts and teachers you definitely need to stay away from. Don’t waste your time. Don’t waste your money. And most importantly, don’t waste your life. As most of the techniques we are going to see today, are going to endanger you, and get you killed if you actually try this absolute nonsense.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

10. Learning Martial Arts From Books

As the first thing I’d like to talk about is learning martial arts from books. I’m going to learn how to defend myself through a book or through watching videos, it just doesn’t work. You need a trainer. You need a teacher and most importantly you need a whole bunch of sparring partners. Cause you need to fight if you want to learn how to fight.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

9. Self Defense Classes

There are not a lot of videos of women self-defence. I’m sure that there might be some instructors who teach you legit stuff. But all too often the things you see, they are a complete waste of time. And when other people who really know how to fight like MMA guys try them, they show that they don’t work. When you’re teaching a set of moves, that doesn’t work, you are dangerous. It’s a similar situation that you see on videos that teach you how to defend from firearms, knives…and they make it sound like it’s simple. Stay away. So, be very careful, the teacher you choose. And this in fact leads us to the next point.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

8. McDojos

We’re talking about McDojos because this is something that needs to be spoken about. Sometimes the style might be legit, so you might go to a Dojo local athletic centre or gym that also does martial arts and they will be claiming to be teaching karate and what not. But in reality, the place you are training now is a McDojo. A McDojo is anything that values quantity of students and making money other than quality of teachings. So, the martial art itself is not a problem, but they are not really teaching it. If you see that there are like 50 students all packed with only 2 instructors, then there is something wrong. If you see that the instructor refuses to roll with his students, nobody fails that test. Again, a business model. I remember when I was practicing Kyokushin karate, a lot of people failed. They weren’t giving out belts just to sell, just to make money. Getting promoted required hard work. If they give an adult black belt to a 10-year-old, then there is something wrong. Business and profit focused Dojo are McDojos and they are teaching you nothing.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

7. Tai Chi

I know some people are going to get pissed at me here, but I want to speak the truth, to be honest. Because this is an important video to make. Tai Chi is a phenomenal style. From a cultural point of view, I think it’s beautiful. It’s fascinating. But people who practice it because they think that through this kind of training, they’re going to be able to learn how to beat a professional boxer then they are deluding themselves. Then also, they are doing it for all the wrong reasons. If you practice tai chi, or you’re just simply interested and in love with Chinese culture, then by all means, be my guest. But don’t expect a style, that has zero combat, to be able to teach you how to fight effectively both on the streets, in a ring, and then again fantasy.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

6. Russian Slap (?)

This is perfect for a ‘you laugh you drink’ kind of challenge. No idea what this style is called, so let’s just call it Russian Slapping as I’ve heard other YouTuber’s say. This is absolutely, ridiculous. I mean this guy, (laughs) oh my gosh! Oh, I can’t do this. I can’t make the video. It’s just too funny. What on earth is this guy doing? This is literally the martial art of b!tch slapping. Yea, I want to see you make that work against a monster of a truck driver, literally. Well, maybe actually you may end up killing them, because they end up laughing themselves to death. You know the saying ‘laugh your heads off’? Not to mention I think the sort of risk injuries that you end up getting with this is probably…I mean this guy looks like a lunatic. The things people come up with, absolutely moronic.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

5. Dillman’s Pressure Points

Oh, and get ready because we are getting into the good stuff here. The Dillman method of pressure point fighting. The name of the style itself requires a black belt to say it properly. The idea is that he knows these pressure points, ancient of course knowledge whereby he can just knock you out with one move or also simply using his chi, his power, his energy, his dragon ball. Now of course the thing is that yes, you might see these videos and think, but it looks like it’s really happening to these people, so what’s going on? Well, these are people who have been deceived. They believe that this stuff works and so they end up doing what everyone expects them to do and what’s dangerous about this is that if you believe in this man, not only are you going to give him your hard earned money and time, but then you are going to think you can knock people out with your power. And when it’s not going to happen during a mugging, you’re going to die. In fact, look at this guy here, he doesn’t believe, he’s skeptical and guess what? It doesn’t work. And as a form of justification, here is what he is saying to explain to us why it didn’t work.

George Dillman:

“The skeptic was a totally nonbeliever. Nonbeliever. Plus, I don’t know if I should say that on film, but if the guy had his tongue in the wrong position in the mouth, that could also nullify it. If I say I’m going to knock you out and you raise one toe and push one toe down, can’t knock you out.”

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

Bloody hell! Well, that was painfully stupid. Of course, you are just coming up with it but if it was the truth, well you’ve just nullified years of training, because now everybody knows how to block your technique. So, thank you for that. You just committed career suicide.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

4. Touch Of Death Pressure Points

The Touch of Death pressure points Dim Mak by John Kihan. Okay, so here I think we are graduating to the deluded. So, this guy I truly believe, he believed he was able to do this stuff. And that he was a killing machine. This guy is the cringe lord. We should all bow to the ‘Cringe Lord’.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

3. The Empty Force

So, this is what’s funny about this video is that we are slowly progressing to the absolute complete crazy. So, these people believe that they can use their touch plus their key, which is basically the same thing as chi it’s just Japanese and Chinese but whatever, they use in their inner energy to do what…(laughs) to do this. Just watch. I’m not even going to say anything. Just watch. Yeah. Okay. And again, guess what, whenever they try to do it on people who are skeptical, who are not their pupils, it doesn’t work.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

2. Kiai

And number 2, this is quite famous, for those of you who know about this bullshitdo, but Kiai. So, there is this master and he’s name is like Yuken, I believe…I know…(laughs) So this guy, elderly man, he literally believed that he could just throw around people using the power of his key, so his inner energy again. A pile of people coming up with this stuff, actually. And people believed him, so they were like, ‘Wow, look at that! It’s incredible what this guy is able to do. Look at that master, making people fly around…I wanna do that.’ So, you know you go to this guy who starts teaching, this mentally instable joke of a teacher, started to believe it so much that he actually created a sort of test, trial, or challenge. He would give $5,000 to any MMA fighter who could beat him. Because of course, you know he’s just going to use his magic and there you go. So, this guy who practiced both karate, jiujitsu and something else, he accepted, and this is what happened.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

Now what I’m seeing to be honest, it’s like I know a lot of people are going to be like, yeah, suits him, serves him well, but on the other hand, I kind of feel sorry and I don’t. Like I don’t cause it’s good that he wakes up and hopefully he will lose some students but of course he came up with some excuse like he wasn’t feeling very well and so that interfered, you know his cold, interfered with his power. Which I mean, first they tell you the key is this incredible force but then you know all you need is like a flu. So, again another guy who publicly told us what the counter to his style is. Just get him sick and boom you can raid his Dojo I suppose. Better not follow a mad man.

Metatron (We Talk About Languages, Videogames, Medieval Weapons and History):

1. Chi Force Field

And at number 1, I’ve got Chi Force Field. This is probably the most embarrassing of all. So, this guy, he’s got a British accent I believe I think he’s somewhere from England, believes that he can teach you to block attacks and throw open quotes, energy volts, closed quotes with the power of again I suppose, chi. (laughs) Oh my gosh! So, yeah. And he’s so into it that look how he mimics how he…he should get an Oscar, how he pretends to be hurt by the energy. It’s like he’s going to give any football player in penalty kick zone, a run for their money. And this is what happens when they actually try the thing, of course, it didn’t work because she still hadn’t mastered the art. It takes years and thousands of dollars I suppose.

But these are the styles these are the martial arts I could come up with my research. Let me know if you agree with this list.

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